Recently I was given reason to take a step back from my
own situation and examine my own parenting and the lifestyle in which my
children are being raised. I was made to feel guilt and doubt, and I wanted to
take some time to reflect upon the choices I make regarding my children. The
attack came from someone I don’t know, leaving me to wonder if the opinion was
rather more unbiased than that of friends and family, who wouldn’t normally criticize
how I do things, for fear of hurting my feelings. It was specifically in
regards to the movies and literature I choose to expose my children to. It was
suggested that perhaps some of the content I allow my children to be privy to
were perhaps too advanced, too mature, too terrifying for their small, maybe
even weak minds. It made me wonder, what it is, I really am exposing them to?
I have
always had a specific genre of books, movies and shows on TV I am especially drawn
to. I devour every fantasy book I can get my hands on, I become absolutely enthralled
with movies and television series set in magical, fantastical lands, future, dystopian
societies, and anything that revolves around people with special abilities,
cast aside by society as “weird”, who end up “saving the day”. In the same way fathers
sometimes enjoy sharing their favorite sport with their child, I too, enjoy
sharing my favorites with my kids. The question now becomes, am I doing this
for selfish reasons? Am I forcing something on them they shouldn’t be a part
of, just yet? I took a deeper look at the specific literature and movies they’ve
heard and seen so many times in their short lives, they nearly have every line
memorized.
Among
some of our more beloved works are Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, The
Chronicles of Narnia, we’ve even watched The Divergent series together, and
most recently, after having read all three in as many days, we went to the
movie theater and saw Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children. On the
surface these types of books and movies are nothing more than pure fantasy, plots
revolving around magic, nothing that could ever happen in the “real world”.
There are however, plenty of violent scenes described and/or shown. I have
decided though, that not only is the surface level a bad thing, but neither is
the violence or the deeper meanings weaved into the stories. As far the most
simple of layers to these works go, the root lesson being taught is imagination.
Albert Einstein said, “Imagination is everything. It is the preview for life’s
coming attractions.”
Child
experts unanimously agree imagination in a child’s life has benefits that are
to be celebrated. Children with active imaginations are more creative, happier,
more alert, more likely to cope with life’s twists and turns, and usually grow
into well-adjusted and secure adults. Imagination is the younger sibling to
creativity and innovation. All of which are traits I would be proud to the
point of bursting to have instilled into my children. The fantasy books and
movies I allow, and encourage my kids to hear and see foster within them a
sense of magic. It teaches them to see the mundane, and use their minds to make
the boring, the tepid, and the tedious parts of life a truly wild adventure.
When we, as people, become complacent and bored we lose our passion. The
potential that is always hidden beneath a layer of bland, humdrum regularity,
ignites a passion within us to uncover what could be. I don’t want my children
to ever lose that, that feeling that makes our hearts skip, that which makes us
wonder with curiosity and the passion that drives us to work until the mystery
underneath is discovered. When we lose our passion, we lose the ability to
truly live.
As
mentioned earlier, there is some violence within many of the fantasy series we
love. I am against the gore. There is no reason for children to see blood and
guts. It’s just gross. If and when there are scenes that portray anything
bloody and disgusting, we fast forward, or close our eyes. My so-called
righteous quest for enlightenment for both myself and my kids is not at the
cost of their innocence. I think, as a
parent it is within my job description to discern what is too-much. My line is
drawn when the fake blood starts to spray at the camera. There are though,
instances of death that can be used as a learning experience that aren’t accompanied
by graphic and grotesque bodily injury. In Harry Potter, when Dobby dies, we
learn there is evil in this world, and we learn the virtue of loyalty. When, in
LOTR, we see what we think is Gandalf’s heroic and sacrificial death, we learn
the same thing. I would much rather explain and discuss the bad things that do
happen in this world through fantasy. When it gets to be too heavy, too deep
and too scary, we can turn it off and know it’s just pretend. It does though,
prepare them later in life for the moments we can’t shut off and close our eyes
too. But throughout all of the death portrayed, there is a glimmer, a
beautiful, shining spark that never fails, and that which we cling to even in
real life. HOPE.
I
believe I am teaching my children to always have hope. No matter what evil
comes their way, there is hope and we see it the way the heroes in our stories
fight fiercely for good. The underdog, the underprivileged, the cast offs, they
are the ones who come forward and do what is right. With hope comes tolerance
and acceptance. These types of stories show us that despite illness (Remus
Lupin), despite mental illness (Jake, the peculiar child after his grandfather
dies) you can still persevere. The oddballs, the freaks, they are the ones we
learn to love and understand and have a deep empathy for. I would be thrilled
to know my children have the same attitude towards the “freaks” they encounter
in the real world. Another important aspect I have come away with and encourage
my children to see are the overwhelming amount of female empowerment within the
fantasy genre. Maybe someday it won’t be a fantasy?
Many of
these movies have a rating of PG-13. I was told there are ratings for a reason.
I agree. PG stands for parental guidance and I absolutely believe if you as a
parent are too inept and unequipped to guide your children through what they
are seeing than you do more damage than good. I understand that some parents
just don’t understand what they are truly reading or seeing and those are the
types I would strongly caution against movies with PG13 ratings. But if you can
see the bigger picture and can turn it into a life lesson then perhaps this
genre is for you and your kids. The “G” refers to guidance as there is a large
range of movies within this rating. LOTR, Avatar, Pirates of the Caribbean, Harry
Potter, X-Men, Bruce Almighty, Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park 3, The Avengers, Starwars,
Spider Man and Batman are all rated the exact same as Drag me to Hell, The
Ring, 6th Sense, Insidious, The Woman in Black and World War Z,
amongst many other horror flicks.
Above
all, though, I hope I am fostering a sense of joy and creativity. The same way
in which the God I serve, and am teaching my children to serve, fosters joy and
creativity in me. He is the ultimate in creativity but He has never shied away
from violence. He was murdered brutally, but God, Himself, is the hope all
these works of literature palely try to imitate. There is bad in this world,
and sometimes, yes, I let my kids see it in movies, that they may know how
blessed they are to have both parents and a secure setting to grow up in and
turn to. For those who don’t, just remember, JK Rowling said, Hogwarts will
always be there to welcome you home. <3
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