The cat's out of the bag, I got BOTOX.

I had intended on writing this for Mother's Day, as it's a blog post about my Mother's Day gift, but I have been exceedingly busy as of late...er...as of always really. So excuse the lateness. What does a busy, tired, and haggard looking mom want most for Mother's Day? What does she need? One might suggest a day of rest and relaxation, or perhaps an uninterrupted nap and bubble bath. Well not this mama. I received for Mom's Day 15 injections right into my face. I'm laughing as I write this, because I already know how ludicrous it sounds...you can't actually tell by my facial expression, or lack thereof that I'm laughing, but I can still make the sound, at least. If you haven't already guessed, I was given the gift of everlasting youth, technically called BOTOX. Yes, I know I am only 24 to 26 years old ( see what I did there?) but the lines gently etched into my face have bothered me for quite some time, and I decided to erase them.
   When you schedule an appointment, the cosmetic surgeon must first do a consultation, for a heavy fee of course, on top of the actual procedure, and for "free" ( yeah right!) He also included an over-all consult, to cover any other procedure I may need or want now or in the future. I was asked to undress, much like you do at the gyno, and given a huge paper towel to wear for "modesty" purposes. I sat and waited on him to enter, expecting a man who resembled Ken, or Brad Pitt given his profession, but instead, in walked the bald bad guy from The Princess Bride. Well, the cobbler doesn't ever have new shoes as they say, so I brushed off his imperfect appearance. His first consultation covered possible breast augmentation. He was curt and to the point. He wasn't overly friendly, if at all. The first words out of his mouth was an incredulous observation regarding how tight I wear my bra. I said, well, I've had two kids, and nursed both for awhile, I am pushing and pulling them up and out, at the expense of my diaphragm, to appear larger and perkier. He didn't laugh. I did, nervously though. His final conclusion was one boob was an entire cup size smaller. Now, I can tell you with complete honesty, I have always fantasized about a boob job. I have always thought it would be awesome to have huge, super perky tits, but I have never once thought one was bigger than the other! I actually didn't think mine were too bad. I look in the mirror after a shower, and think...two kids? Not too shabby, sister!
   Next he inspected my belly. It is an absolute subconscious reflex to suck in and flex, at all times. The only time I'm not is when I'm asleep. He irritatedly told me to relax my stomach, and I had to really muster up bravery for that small act. I literally breathed deeply and closed my eyes, then let that thing hang out. He started painfully yanking and pulling on me, showing me where my belly button should actually be placed as opposed to where it is now. ha! (Again, I'm smirking, but you can't tell.) He told me I need a tuck, and he would reconstruct my belly button, even going so far as to say he would remove my heinous belly button ring scar. The belly button ring I got when I was 16, with my mom. The time we went to the tattoo shop together and she let me pierce it without telling my dad. I wrapped myself back up in my paper towel quickly, and asked uncomfortably how much all this would cost.
  He asked me if it mattered! SIGH. The last thing on the list was my face. They hemmed and hawed, way too close to my pores and the zit on my forehead and concluded, the doctor and his esthetic's professional, that my face skin was much, much older than my actual biological age, and I certainly needed the botox, and 200 dollars worth of skin care shit. I had entered the office thinking I was pretty hot, and one small injection later I would be perfect, and as my appointment drew to an end, I felt like a withered husk of a woman. I had effed up boobs, my belly button was halfway up my rib cage now apparently, I had floppy, loose skin hanging off my bones like plastic grocery bags, and my skin was pushing 80 years old. I slouched around the office, like a deflated balloon. WHY AM I SO HIDEOUS?!?!
   I admit, I went through with the Botox injections, despite the feeling I was totally being hustled. Insurance doesn't cover any of it, and the doctor is in it to make MONEY. Much like any salesmen, they high pressure sale you into things you suddenly think you NEED. He wiped my face with alcohol, and one after the other stuck my face with a needle. They advised against grand facial expressions, crinkling my nose, squinting, and furrowing my brow.  I left the office completely dejected, despite the brochure that said the office was in the business of improving self esteem. I really have considered all these procedures before, and how amazing it would be to be perfect. I can say that without shame. Who hasn't? But having actually gone through with one procedure and contemplating all the others I was consulted on, I started to think about my body and my face.
   My boobs. They fed two babies, and they've been used to nestle two little faces, as they drifted off to sleep. Behind them beats the heart that holds an immeasurable amount of love. My stomach that housed my sweet infants, stretched to the limit as they grew strong and healthy. As mentioned before even my belly button holds memories dear to me. I was truly saddened at the thought of changing any of it! Who would've thought?? And lastly my face. The face that lights up at childish antics, the brows that furrow in annoyance at my husband, the crow's feet that deepen as I squint into the summer sun, and the lines around my face that crease when I belly laugh. I don't plan on going back, or ever getting any more work done. It took the experience to realize how much I really do love myself, and how disturbing it would be to alter any of who I am. Therein lies the rub, changing the outward, would be truly changing WHO I AM. I make dramatic faces. I like to smile, and scowl, I certainly don't have resting bitch face (at least not naturally) I smile at strangers, and I wink at babies. The lesson learned was that changing what I thought I hated, was in reality, changing what I love about myself. As I write this I am making a face that says contemplation and realization, and in six months from now you'll be able to see it again. Till then, I guess I will have to start writing my blog posts again to express myself! ...now I'm smiling. HA!

Fun things to do with kids.

Sometimes being a stay-at-home-mom is boring and tedious. My son refers to bedtime as "nap time". He simply is taking a small nap in between the endless days that seem to run together. Structure and routine is very healthy for small ones, but for adults it can mean intense bouts of cabin fever and monotony. In response to such feelings I've come up with several activities that break up our days and offer education and fun. Some require imagination and some are things we've all done, but it has to be better than sitting at home watching Cars and Frozen on repeat, right?  I also would like to point out I always refer to staying home because that's my current situation, but motherhood in general sometimes needs some spice. Granted as I type this my son opened his sippy and dumped it on the white carpet, but that isn't the excitement I'm looking for....So, here are a few things I have come up with for rainy days, boring days, and days when you just need out of the house! Have fun!

1.  Several times I have taken the kids to the Humane Society and we have walked the dogs, or played with the kittens and cats. For one thing, those poor creatures need it, and for another there is never too young an age to teach compassion. It's a decent work-out for all involved and the animals and the kids love it. Kids naturally love animals. The employees will direct you to dogs that are safe, so no need to fear an attack. They'll never let volunteers near "mean" dogs. (For those of you reading this in Stark County who know the precise location of the shelter, you might also realize for REAL excitement, you might get lucky and witness an escaped convict making a run for it...just saying.) 
2. This activity takes a bit of imagination, but another outing we've gone on has been to Harry London Chocolate Factory. In the morning we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the old version as the new version borders on horror and slight pedophilia) and then made our way to Harry London. They offer FREE tours, FREE samples and you get to experience the inner workings of the factory. There is an educational movie to start and it then takes you through the whole building...gigantic vats of chocolate syrup, conveyer belts loaded with chocolate covered strawberries and ends in the candy shop. They pass out samples and if you're like me, you can also buy a bunch..I mean a couple, items of your choosing. I told my kids the workers were Oompa Loompas and they believed me. It was fun. 
3. The McKinley Museum is a great way to spend a couple hours on a rainy day. They have dinosaurs, science experiments, an Old Time village you can walk through as you step back through time, a model train section, lots of local history education and learning opportunities. They also have a gift shop that sells my book..so. There's that. 
4. This summer, I recreated different scenes and events from Harry Potter, one being Hogwarts..aka Glamorgan Castle in Alliance. It is absolutely breath taking. Whether you're pretending you've entered Hogwarts, or you have a little girl who wants to see where Elsa and Anna grew up, it's a great time. The vast lawn in the front is gorgeous and inside you'll find suits of armor and a pretty chandelier. My son still talks about the pond on the front lawn and the "giant squid" I told him lived in it...Harry Potter fans unite!
5. Another one of our more memorable trips was to Hale Farm and Village. It's an entire recreated village modeling the first settler's lives, with a functioning church, school house, gardens, town store, an attorney's office, farms with real animals, a glass blower's shop, a blacksmith, amongst many more. You're free to explore and learn as you travel in and out of the different buildings, while actors dressed in full colonial garb greet you in vernacular popular to the time. They spin their own wool, make their own glass and iron products, and all product can be purchased in the gift shop at the front office. We had a fabulous time that day. One of the trips I highly encourage everyone with little people to try. "There's something they aren't telling us!"- Bridesmaids.
6. Sometimes a fun day is just that, for fun. I always try to encourage education but sometimes kids just want to bounce off the walls. Sky Maxx offers the ability to literally do so. One of the more expensive activities on my list, but well worth it if you come home afterwards and the kids are passed out in exhaustion for three hours. The floor and walls are trampolines, surrounded by netting. You buy your children a wrist band and cut them loose to wear themselves OUT for 30 minutes or an hour depending on what you spend and how long you want to chase them around. My daughter kept bouncing off across the room like a little Mexican jumping bean, and then licking the floor. No socks or shoes allowed! Gross! 
7. For the helicopter and plane enthusiasts, I recommend MAPS air museum. Offering interesting facts about the planes flown during the world wars, real artifacts and a hanger full of airplanes used during war time, it is a HUGE space to walk around in and check out. My son was allowed to sit inside different planes, touch propellers, and examine a machine gun from WW2. Both times we've gone, we have shown up within thirty minutes of closing time and both times a volunteer veteran has happily showed us around, waived admission fees and even gave Dominic a model plane from the gift shop, also for free. I have nothing but nice things to say about them. No jokes on this one, I love the people who work there! 
8. Summer time is always more fun, but a few things you may not have thought of include strawberry picking, Farmer's Markets (again, venders are always happy to hand out samples and different goodies for free to cute customers ..I meant me, not the kids..HA!), apple picking, The Zoo, and the pool. If you don't have access to a pool, my kids were happy to splash around in a large Tupperware container I filled with water. Kids don't know they're hillbillies till they're older. We also had many bon fires and roasted marshmellows and hotdogs, picked flowers and made crowns with them, and lastly, we really enjoy the Wilderness Center. The observatory building has a gift shop, and a natural museum with a huge log and life sized models of the creatures that live inside. Kids can crawl through, in and around it. The nature trails are safe, stroller accessible, show the beauty of the land, and one trail even allows dogs. I huffed and puffed, sweat, was bit by a thousand mosquitoes, and my legs were torn open by nettles, but the kids loved it.  
9. Want something free? The library. A card is free, borrowing the books is free, and they give you three warnings before they kick you out for being too loud and obnoxious. We've only ever gotten to two. My son is trying to beat our record by pulling all the books off the shelves and then climbing them. It's good to have goals, even as a child. 

1. In the fall we love Nickajack Farm. Pumpkin picking, horse rides, a petting zoo, a hay bale maze... again with the gift shop....my house is filled with plastic, Chinese made junk from all the gift shops we've entered... the neat part about Nickajack though, is the education they offer on local farming, live stock and crops. You can play and learn. 

1. My last ones are for the fishies in your family. The Massillon Rec Center has an amazing indoor "water park" for 3 bucks each! They have a lazy river, a pirate ship, a very shallow kiddie pool and a regular pool. The kids and I went and we all laid on an inner tube for hours and floated around the lazy river. And if you're stuck in Ohio in the summer with kids and want a quasi-vacation, I say head to Vermillion. It's a pretty, small town, with clean, sandy beaches attached to Lake Eerie. You can swim and lay on the beach near a picture-perfect lighthouse and depending on your Instagram filter, no one will be none the wiser as to where you actually are. Again, imagination is key, but that's what kids are good at! You can go to the old-time sundae shop afterwards and order an old fashioned banana split! 

Have fun! 

For the babies :)

Sometimes while you sleep, I watch you dream.
Your little lips twitch into smiles, exhausted, you've run out of steam.
You both have curled up into little balls of warmth, you smell so sweet.
I like to kiss your foreheads and the bottoms of your feet.
Your precious dreams make your eyelashes flutter,
Tiny squeaks, happy sighs, and little noises you mutter.
Are you flying over fields of flowers on giant butterfly wings?
Are you watching puppets dance on life sized strings?
Atop an ivory steed, do you slay dragons and terrible foes?
Do you gracefully dance for an adoring audience up on your tippy-toes?
Are you the pilot of a plane, the captain of a ship?
Or through a magical fairy forest, in a gown of gold, do you skip?
Are you dreaming of the Wild West, where you're the sheriff of the town?
Or do you simply dream about a grassy knoll, rolling down and down?
Maybe hand in hand, you're togethor in your dreamland,
Are you building castles with mermaids in the sand?
Or do you two throw snowballs at friendly polar bears?
Do you venture in togethor to creepy mountain lairs?
Your rosy cheeks and messy hair pressed hard into the pillows,
I think you might just sit and whisper beneath a shady willow.
One rolls into the other, your blankets tangled tight,
Are you in an air balloon, floating on the soft winds of twilight?
Do you swim with ease amongst whales from the deep?
Tell me darlings, what happens when you sleep?
While you dream, I watch you and wonder where you are.
Do you splash your feet in a creek bed, or explore a distant star?
Someday you can tell me, but for now sleep well my sweets,
While you travel and explore from your soft, cotton sheets.