Top 10 Reasons to hold onto your last 10 Pounds of Baby Weight

Fat girls make lists like this to make themselves feel better, and in the spirit of self love, I too, have made one. 

1. While I sometimes fantasize about the waif I once was, so small, in fact, that I very nearly by law, was required to sit in a car seat, my extra ten pounds provide a very comfortable heated insulation during the winter months.
2. Losing it would mean being forced into being on a diet. That would mean no more snacks at midnight, and by snacks I mean full meals, because midnight is the only time I, as a mother can eat in peace without someone throwing ketchup covered fries at my face or being spit-up on.
3. My children's favorite toys are my bingo arms and my jiggly belly. What kind of a mother would I be, nay, what kind of PERSON would I be to take that away from them?? 
4. Do you plan on ever having more kids? I don't, but since I am not a fortune teller, I don't see why I would lose weight only to gain it back and more. Why would I want to torture myself like that?
5. In the event of the apocalypse, when there is a shortage of food, and rations are fought over like gold, technically speaking those ten extra pounds could carry you over weeks longer than your skinny counterparts. Do you want to survive the end times or not?
6. Chubby girls are smarter. That is a fact. That I made up. 
7. If you're like me, you gain weight in your face, and if you're ten pounds over weight that's just a nifty excuse to buy more make-up. One can of spray paint wouldn't cover an entire wall. Think of your face like a giant, round wall.
8. Since having that handful of extra weight on you everything ends up being a work-out anyways, therefor making actual working out a non-necessity. Clomping up the staircase, breathing laboriously, heaving a 600 pound basket of laundry just cost you major calories. 
9. My cannonballs trump your swan dives any day. 
10. BOOBS.