The cat's out of the bag, I got BOTOX.

I had intended on writing this for Mother's Day, as it's a blog post about my Mother's Day gift, but I have been exceedingly busy as of late...er...as of always really. So excuse the lateness. What does a busy, tired, and haggard looking mom want most for Mother's Day? What does she need? One might suggest a day of rest and relaxation, or perhaps an uninterrupted nap and bubble bath. Well not this mama. I received for Mom's Day 15 injections right into my face. I'm laughing as I write this, because I already know how ludicrous it sounds...you can't actually tell by my facial expression, or lack thereof that I'm laughing, but I can still make the sound, at least. If you haven't already guessed, I was given the gift of everlasting youth, technically called BOTOX. Yes, I know I am only 24 to 26 years old ( see what I did there?) but the lines gently etched into my face have bothered me for quite some time, and I decided to erase them.
   When you schedule an appointment, the cosmetic surgeon must first do a consultation, for a heavy fee of course, on top of the actual procedure, and for "free" ( yeah right!) He also included an over-all consult, to cover any other procedure I may need or want now or in the future. I was asked to undress, much like you do at the gyno, and given a huge paper towel to wear for "modesty" purposes. I sat and waited on him to enter, expecting a man who resembled Ken, or Brad Pitt given his profession, but instead, in walked the bald bad guy from The Princess Bride. Well, the cobbler doesn't ever have new shoes as they say, so I brushed off his imperfect appearance. His first consultation covered possible breast augmentation. He was curt and to the point. He wasn't overly friendly, if at all. The first words out of his mouth was an incredulous observation regarding how tight I wear my bra. I said, well, I've had two kids, and nursed both for awhile, I am pushing and pulling them up and out, at the expense of my diaphragm, to appear larger and perkier. He didn't laugh. I did, nervously though. His final conclusion was one boob was an entire cup size smaller. Now, I can tell you with complete honesty, I have always fantasized about a boob job. I have always thought it would be awesome to have huge, super perky tits, but I have never once thought one was bigger than the other! I actually didn't think mine were too bad. I look in the mirror after a shower, and think...two kids? Not too shabby, sister!
   Next he inspected my belly. It is an absolute subconscious reflex to suck in and flex, at all times. The only time I'm not is when I'm asleep. He irritatedly told me to relax my stomach, and I had to really muster up bravery for that small act. I literally breathed deeply and closed my eyes, then let that thing hang out. He started painfully yanking and pulling on me, showing me where my belly button should actually be placed as opposed to where it is now. ha! (Again, I'm smirking, but you can't tell.) He told me I need a tuck, and he would reconstruct my belly button, even going so far as to say he would remove my heinous belly button ring scar. The belly button ring I got when I was 16, with my mom. The time we went to the tattoo shop together and she let me pierce it without telling my dad. I wrapped myself back up in my paper towel quickly, and asked uncomfortably how much all this would cost.
  He asked me if it mattered! SIGH. The last thing on the list was my face. They hemmed and hawed, way too close to my pores and the zit on my forehead and concluded, the doctor and his esthetic's professional, that my face skin was much, much older than my actual biological age, and I certainly needed the botox, and 200 dollars worth of skin care shit. I had entered the office thinking I was pretty hot, and one small injection later I would be perfect, and as my appointment drew to an end, I felt like a withered husk of a woman. I had effed up boobs, my belly button was halfway up my rib cage now apparently, I had floppy, loose skin hanging off my bones like plastic grocery bags, and my skin was pushing 80 years old. I slouched around the office, like a deflated balloon. WHY AM I SO HIDEOUS?!?!
   I admit, I went through with the Botox injections, despite the feeling I was totally being hustled. Insurance doesn't cover any of it, and the doctor is in it to make MONEY. Much like any salesmen, they high pressure sale you into things you suddenly think you NEED. He wiped my face with alcohol, and one after the other stuck my face with a needle. They advised against grand facial expressions, crinkling my nose, squinting, and furrowing my brow.  I left the office completely dejected, despite the brochure that said the office was in the business of improving self esteem. I really have considered all these procedures before, and how amazing it would be to be perfect. I can say that without shame. Who hasn't? But having actually gone through with one procedure and contemplating all the others I was consulted on, I started to think about my body and my face.
   My boobs. They fed two babies, and they've been used to nestle two little faces, as they drifted off to sleep. Behind them beats the heart that holds an immeasurable amount of love. My stomach that housed my sweet infants, stretched to the limit as they grew strong and healthy. As mentioned before even my belly button holds memories dear to me. I was truly saddened at the thought of changing any of it! Who would've thought?? And lastly my face. The face that lights up at childish antics, the brows that furrow in annoyance at my husband, the crow's feet that deepen as I squint into the summer sun, and the lines around my face that crease when I belly laugh. I don't plan on going back, or ever getting any more work done. It took the experience to realize how much I really do love myself, and how disturbing it would be to alter any of who I am. Therein lies the rub, changing the outward, would be truly changing WHO I AM. I make dramatic faces. I like to smile, and scowl, I certainly don't have resting bitch face (at least not naturally) I smile at strangers, and I wink at babies. The lesson learned was that changing what I thought I hated, was in reality, changing what I love about myself. As I write this I am making a face that says contemplation and realization, and in six months from now you'll be able to see it again. Till then, I guess I will have to start writing my blog posts again to express myself! ...now I'm smiling. HA!

Fun things to do with kids.

Sometimes being a stay-at-home-mom is boring and tedious. My son refers to bedtime as "nap time". He simply is taking a small nap in between the endless days that seem to run together. Structure and routine is very healthy for small ones, but for adults it can mean intense bouts of cabin fever and monotony. In response to such feelings I've come up with several activities that break up our days and offer education and fun. Some require imagination and some are things we've all done, but it has to be better than sitting at home watching Cars and Frozen on repeat, right?  I also would like to point out I always refer to staying home because that's my current situation, but motherhood in general sometimes needs some spice. Granted as I type this my son opened his sippy and dumped it on the white carpet, but that isn't the excitement I'm looking for....So, here are a few things I have come up with for rainy days, boring days, and days when you just need out of the house! Have fun!

1.  Several times I have taken the kids to the Humane Society and we have walked the dogs, or played with the kittens and cats. For one thing, those poor creatures need it, and for another there is never too young an age to teach compassion. It's a decent work-out for all involved and the animals and the kids love it. Kids naturally love animals. The employees will direct you to dogs that are safe, so no need to fear an attack. They'll never let volunteers near "mean" dogs. (For those of you reading this in Stark County who know the precise location of the shelter, you might also realize for REAL excitement, you might get lucky and witness an escaped convict making a run for it...just saying.) 
2. This activity takes a bit of imagination, but another outing we've gone on has been to Harry London Chocolate Factory. In the morning we watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the old version as the new version borders on horror and slight pedophilia) and then made our way to Harry London. They offer FREE tours, FREE samples and you get to experience the inner workings of the factory. There is an educational movie to start and it then takes you through the whole building...gigantic vats of chocolate syrup, conveyer belts loaded with chocolate covered strawberries and ends in the candy shop. They pass out samples and if you're like me, you can also buy a bunch..I mean a couple, items of your choosing. I told my kids the workers were Oompa Loompas and they believed me. It was fun. 
3. The McKinley Museum is a great way to spend a couple hours on a rainy day. They have dinosaurs, science experiments, an Old Time village you can walk through as you step back through time, a model train section, lots of local history education and learning opportunities. They also have a gift shop that sells my book..so. There's that. 
4. This summer, I recreated different scenes and events from Harry Potter, one being Hogwarts..aka Glamorgan Castle in Alliance. It is absolutely breath taking. Whether you're pretending you've entered Hogwarts, or you have a little girl who wants to see where Elsa and Anna grew up, it's a great time. The vast lawn in the front is gorgeous and inside you'll find suits of armor and a pretty chandelier. My son still talks about the pond on the front lawn and the "giant squid" I told him lived in it...Harry Potter fans unite!
5. Another one of our more memorable trips was to Hale Farm and Village. It's an entire recreated village modeling the first settler's lives, with a functioning church, school house, gardens, town store, an attorney's office, farms with real animals, a glass blower's shop, a blacksmith, amongst many more. You're free to explore and learn as you travel in and out of the different buildings, while actors dressed in full colonial garb greet you in vernacular popular to the time. They spin their own wool, make their own glass and iron products, and all product can be purchased in the gift shop at the front office. We had a fabulous time that day. One of the trips I highly encourage everyone with little people to try. "There's something they aren't telling us!"- Bridesmaids.
6. Sometimes a fun day is just that, for fun. I always try to encourage education but sometimes kids just want to bounce off the walls. Sky Maxx offers the ability to literally do so. One of the more expensive activities on my list, but well worth it if you come home afterwards and the kids are passed out in exhaustion for three hours. The floor and walls are trampolines, surrounded by netting. You buy your children a wrist band and cut them loose to wear themselves OUT for 30 minutes or an hour depending on what you spend and how long you want to chase them around. My daughter kept bouncing off across the room like a little Mexican jumping bean, and then licking the floor. No socks or shoes allowed! Gross! 
7. For the helicopter and plane enthusiasts, I recommend MAPS air museum. Offering interesting facts about the planes flown during the world wars, real artifacts and a hanger full of airplanes used during war time, it is a HUGE space to walk around in and check out. My son was allowed to sit inside different planes, touch propellers, and examine a machine gun from WW2. Both times we've gone, we have shown up within thirty minutes of closing time and both times a volunteer veteran has happily showed us around, waived admission fees and even gave Dominic a model plane from the gift shop, also for free. I have nothing but nice things to say about them. No jokes on this one, I love the people who work there! 
8. Summer time is always more fun, but a few things you may not have thought of include strawberry picking, Farmer's Markets (again, venders are always happy to hand out samples and different goodies for free to cute customers ..I meant me, not the kids..HA!), apple picking, The Zoo, and the pool. If you don't have access to a pool, my kids were happy to splash around in a large Tupperware container I filled with water. Kids don't know they're hillbillies till they're older. We also had many bon fires and roasted marshmellows and hotdogs, picked flowers and made crowns with them, and lastly, we really enjoy the Wilderness Center. The observatory building has a gift shop, and a natural museum with a huge log and life sized models of the creatures that live inside. Kids can crawl through, in and around it. The nature trails are safe, stroller accessible, show the beauty of the land, and one trail even allows dogs. I huffed and puffed, sweat, was bit by a thousand mosquitoes, and my legs were torn open by nettles, but the kids loved it.  
9. Want something free? The library. A card is free, borrowing the books is free, and they give you three warnings before they kick you out for being too loud and obnoxious. We've only ever gotten to two. My son is trying to beat our record by pulling all the books off the shelves and then climbing them. It's good to have goals, even as a child. 

1. In the fall we love Nickajack Farm. Pumpkin picking, horse rides, a petting zoo, a hay bale maze... again with the gift shop....my house is filled with plastic, Chinese made junk from all the gift shops we've entered... the neat part about Nickajack though, is the education they offer on local farming, live stock and crops. You can play and learn. 

1. My last ones are for the fishies in your family. The Massillon Rec Center has an amazing indoor "water park" for 3 bucks each! They have a lazy river, a pirate ship, a very shallow kiddie pool and a regular pool. The kids and I went and we all laid on an inner tube for hours and floated around the lazy river. And if you're stuck in Ohio in the summer with kids and want a quasi-vacation, I say head to Vermillion. It's a pretty, small town, with clean, sandy beaches attached to Lake Eerie. You can swim and lay on the beach near a picture-perfect lighthouse and depending on your Instagram filter, no one will be none the wiser as to where you actually are. Again, imagination is key, but that's what kids are good at! You can go to the old-time sundae shop afterwards and order an old fashioned banana split! 

Have fun! 

For the babies :)

Sometimes while you sleep, I watch you dream.
Your little lips twitch into smiles, exhausted, you've run out of steam.
You both have curled up into little balls of warmth, you smell so sweet.
I like to kiss your foreheads and the bottoms of your feet.
Your precious dreams make your eyelashes flutter,
Tiny squeaks, happy sighs, and little noises you mutter.
Are you flying over fields of flowers on giant butterfly wings?
Are you watching puppets dance on life sized strings?
Atop an ivory steed, do you slay dragons and terrible foes?
Do you gracefully dance for an adoring audience up on your tippy-toes?
Are you the pilot of a plane, the captain of a ship?
Or through a magical fairy forest, in a gown of gold, do you skip?
Are you dreaming of the Wild West, where you're the sheriff of the town?
Or do you simply dream about a grassy knoll, rolling down and down?
Maybe hand in hand, you're togethor in your dreamland,
Are you building castles with mermaids in the sand?
Or do you two throw snowballs at friendly polar bears?
Do you venture in togethor to creepy mountain lairs?
Your rosy cheeks and messy hair pressed hard into the pillows,
I think you might just sit and whisper beneath a shady willow.
One rolls into the other, your blankets tangled tight,
Are you in an air balloon, floating on the soft winds of twilight?
Do you swim with ease amongst whales from the deep?
Tell me darlings, what happens when you sleep?
While you dream, I watch you and wonder where you are.
Do you splash your feet in a creek bed, or explore a distant star?
Someday you can tell me, but for now sleep well my sweets,
While you travel and explore from your soft, cotton sheets.

The Search for Scout

As a "writer" I pride myself in my ability to articulate my feelings accurately into words, but I've never had to convey before such a deep sense of loss. I can't seem to find words intense enough to describe the immense pain I feel. Sad, heart broken, torn, depressed...none seem fitting for the way my heart feels right now. It has been a week since my dog of three years went missing. At midnight or a little before I took the trash out, which by the way, is something I never do, and I think this is a lesson to my husband that even the slightest change in roles can lead to disastrous results. As I went down through the basement lugging the garbage, and out through the garage, apparently my dog followed me, and took off into the night. She is so small, and it was so late, I hardly noticed anything but how cold my bare feet were and how annoyed I was that my husband wasn't the one doing it...By the time I noticed she wasn't in the house, thirty or more minutes had already gone by. In an absolute panic, I threw some boots on and an oversized hoody and drove around the neighborhood screaming for her. 
   "SCOUT!!!!!!!" I furiously chain smoked cigarettes, texted my husband some mean, vile threats and accusations (we don't handle strife in what you would call a "healthy" way), while rolling my eyes at the ones I received back, and hollered for her for an hour, effectively irritating and infuriating everyone within a five mile radius of us. I had to go in for the night. My two year old was awake and crying, wondering where his puppy had gone, it was very late, and my 11 month old daughter would greet me at the rise of the sun. I had to get some sleep. I said a desperate prayer for Scout and fitfully fell to sleep.
   The next morning I posted Scout's sappy, smiling mug all over social media. If you live in our county, you knew my dog had gone missing. The whole township was on a code red alert. I had one thought and that was to find Scout. The image of her wet and cold, shivering from cold, hunger and terror gripped my heart in fear. I did nothing but search all day whether on foot or in the car, dragging my two babies along for the miserable ride. My phone became an appendage (ok, it already was...whatever) and I checked incessantly for leads and tips strangers left me on the endless lost and found pages I had found on Facebook. My husband made flyers and I bought a staple gun specifically for hanging them. I have to include here that if you've ever been in pain or have been frustrated, there is something extremely soothing about slamming a staple gun into a telephone pole 57 times per flyer. It's rather decent therapy for 11.99 at Drug Mart. 
   I visited the pound and called them over and over. What a bleak place that is. For the most part, the workers seemed nice, but the smell and those tiny canine jail cells will haunt me forever. I tend to be overly descriptive when telling a story, tricks of the trade, but in this instance, I really felt that as I walked down the cold cement strip between rows of cells, holding my children's hands tightly in a maternal grip, passing every scared, sad and possibly mad with fear dog, I couldn't help but envision a scene similar in the movie, The Green Mile.  I prayed so hard, some of it came out of my mouth in an audible whisper. 
   "Please be here Scout, please...please..." 
   We left dejected. No Scout. The search continued day after day. The Humane Society had heard so often of Scout's disappearance when I called them about a missing dog, they asked for me by name.  The woman on the phone told me she checked her Facebook page 50 times a day for updates on my little pooch. As the days went on, and still no Scout, the only thing that kept me from scream-weeping alone in my garage all day ( which I allowed myself to do a few times), was the massive outpouring of support and encouragement. Hundreds and hundreds of people shared Scout's story, strangers, people I had never met before spent their afternoons in the freezing cold rain to look for her. A man left her food and treats in the park where she had been spotted, several women had seen her and even while they were on their way to work, stopped and tried to catch her. The second woman who did so, even sent her poor husband out to circle the block.
   Friends and family, and strangers alike rallied behind me. Some made flyers, some went door to door, some called vet's offices and shelters for me. Not to mention the hundreds online who helped me just by sharing her story. Several people called me with no information but simply to pray with me over the phone. I was sent on a wild goose chase one night, very late, and the neighborhood I was in was sleepy and dark and cold, and a couple who heard me yelling, came out and helped me look. I had a wrong number for a lead I found in the paper and even the wrong number wished me luck. 
   People from all walks of life have come together in the search for Scout. Smoking teenagers hiding out in the back of the high school parking lot, men and women, older people, younger people, friends and family. They have all expressed feeling my pain. The community weeps with me. They have done everything they can to assist us. I mentioned at one point I didn't know how I could possibly ever repay everyone for what they meant to me. I am not sure some even grasp what their small act of kindness has done to me. It has touched me in a way I can never describe. The community as a whole working together for one little pup...it's truly something I will carry with me for life, with or without Scout. Most have said they won't even take the reward money we are offering! 
   I started this blog post to vent my intense pain, and ended it, floored once again as I remind myself of the wonderful thing we call humanity. There are so many amazing humans out there. Our hearts beat as one as we go through this crazy thing called life. The compassion displayed towards me this week has been overwhelming at times and eye opening. If nothing else comes of this I will never doubt that this world as a whole is not such a bad place. The few evil people there are, are far outnumbered by the kind hearted ones. Thank you so much to the countless people helping me look, the ones sending me kind words, handing out flyers, going door to door, spending time walking in the woods, the police stations who have expressed sympathy, and to everyone who, like me, waits on baited breath for a happy ending. Even if, God forbid, we don't get the story we all want, I would say a little dog who has brought a community together, like Scout has, leaves behind an amazing legacy. Her goofy grin and ridiculous bat ears have shown me that people are good, and the community in which I live is a wonderful one. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart. We won't give up hope. 

Genius Parenting Hacks

I am not a child rearing expert, nor do I have a PHd, although I DO have a cosmetology license and I was an STNA for 3 months, so I would say I know a thing or two....In my experience this advice is golden and has proven time and again to show exceptional results. Feel free to take these words to heart for an easier time raising your precious little ones.

1. Do you have issues getting your toddler to eat nutritious meals, three times a day? I have a simple hack that will surely fill their bellies. Make an intricate and complicated meal, spending hours or even all day on it, offer it to your baby 17 times, lose your cool a few times, arrange it so that is perfectly resembles Thomas the Tank Engine, and after they have had one or more major melt downs, give up and pack it away, and clean up the mess they made when they threw half of it at you and the kitchen floor. After you have your kitchen spotless again and the food is cold in the refrigerator, THEN they will want to eat it. EASY!
2. Sleeping problems? Does your toddler not want to go to bed at an appropriate bedtime? Does he or she leave their room five minutes after you spent an hour rubbing their back, gazing into their eyes lovingly while singing You are My Sunshine and reading Go Dog Go ad nauseum? Here's a tip! Make sure their perfectly safe and comfortable bedroom is absolutely terrifying. Allow monsters to inhabit their closets and spend hours trying to figure out what in their bed could be causing even the slightest of discomforts, only to come up short so that they never want to enter their sleeping quarters again. Now you must let them fall asleep to the Polar Express, but ensure that the volume is too loud, then too quiet, then too loud, then too quiet, then too loud...then too quiet for good measure. The last, and simplest step is to learn to sleep comfortably with fists and feet assaulting your face and kidneys all night long on a thin one inch by seven inch strip of your own bed with no blankets or pillows. You're on your way to a peacefully sleeping tot!
3. Many a mother has complained about her house being disheveled and messy. This one is by far the easiest fix. As soon as you have one room in order, proceed to the next. Then go back to the previously cleaned room and do it all over again. Repeat this process to the point of madness and give up just in time for company! 
4. Are you worried your toddler's vocabulary isn't on par with his or her peers? Get angry ONE time, mutter a vile curse word, barely audible under your breath and two weeks later be amazed your two year old uses the "F" word in it's correct context at Sunday School!
5. This one is for my progressive parents. Are you concerned your little boy is being forced into societal gender stereotypes? Accidentally leave your make-up bag out and watch in awe as your boy experiments with lipstick and eyeliner. The first through one hundredth time he may decide to flush your products down the toilet and paint the walls, but eventually he will get it, and will be a man ahead of his time! 
6. Sometimes as parents we worry we aren't stimulating our children enough. My advice is to plan countless child-friendly trips and events, and then make them as agonizing and as miserable as you possibly can. The obvious ways to do this is by inviting their little friends, letting them have soda and candy, and buying them 500 dollar souvenirs that cost ten cents to make in China that they can smash to pieces on the car ride home. It's not a complete adventure till you've spent your entire savings and put all your energy into making it memorable while your sweetheart convulses on the floor, screeching like he's been burned with a white-hot branding iron.
7. Little kids, especially boys, sometimes in their toddler stage refuse to wear clothes. My advice is to dress them 800 times a day and then enjoy the unsolicited advice and snarky comments from parents not yet to that phase of childhood or who happen to be lucky enough to have a child who tolerates clothing. I am a huge advocate for offering opinions to struggling parents, and the more righteous and snobby the opinion, the more likely it is to be helpful. 
8. My last gem will help you in deciding which toys to get rid of when your toy room, toy box, the kid's rooms and the rest of your house is cluttered with toys, pieces of toys, blocks, happy meal trinkets and infant toys. The answer? None. Toys that haven't been touched in months, or years will suddenly become top priority and their favorite of all time, when they catch a younger sibling even glancing at them. Also, their memories (and sometimes imaginations) can be tenacious, and you could spend an entire day searching for that "blue/yellow/red/purple ball that looks like a car that makes noise and doesn't make noise." You may as well hoard every piece of plastic that has ever dwelled within your home. 

I hope this helps fellow mommies! Happy Parenting! 

Six HAPPY months of marriage!

   Can you think of the worst person you know? The meanest, nastiest person you've had the misfortune of having to come into contact with. Now multiply that person's attitude by ten and you will have a fairly accurate picture of me when I'm hungry. And no, I'm not pregnant. I'm just impatient and want what I want, when I want it. The other day we took a family trip to the zoo, and my husband planned on eating there, and I was having none of it. 
   "We have to go past the penguins, bats and jaguars before we even come close to the cafeteria. You are the dumbest person I've ever met. I want a sandwich right now. I want fast food. Go to Chic-Fil-A."
   I proceeded to carry on about how stupid and selfish he was, how he never plans for anything, and how I was on the verge of emaciation....140 pounds and shrinking by the minute. I may have dropped several "F bombs", punched the window, and rolled my eyes till I strained an ocular muscle. I can't be sure though, I blacked out. My blood sugar was low obviously. After having put on a Grammy-worthy production he finally conceded and pulled into some "dump, hole in the wall" to buy me a cheeseburger. It wasn't what I wanted but I supposed I could make a cheeseburger with everything, no pickles, add lettuce and tomato work. When he ordered it for me, the muffled voice of a teenaged drive-through attendant announced they can't add tomatoes to burgers....Aaaaaand that's when I really lost it. I trashed the restaurant, the town we were in, and my husband. All the while stuffing my face with the burger, and as painful as this is to admit, it was delicious. 
   The most disturbing thing about this entire debacle was that my kids were in the backseat and witnessed the entire escapade. They heard and saw mommy and daddy fighting and calling each other names. I am ashamed of my actions, and I am ashamed that my children now probably think it's alright to pitch a fit the second they don't get what they want. What I'm not ashamed of though, is my kids seeing us fight. We may need to brush up on our fighting skills, but I will never hide from them the fact that mom and dad don't agree on every single thing, I won't hide from them that couples fight, and I won't hide from them my imperfections. 
   If they go through their lives thinking marriage is a perfect, happy love cocoon, it is dooming their future relationships. I am sure one hundred doctors will give me a thousand reasons why us fighting in front of them the other day has permanently scarred them for life, but I saw my own parents have knock-down, drag out fights, I saw my parents not being perfect, and I also saw them make-up, and stick it out through 30 years now of ups and downs. I learned from them that husbands and wives don't get married and instantly agree on everything, and that while marriage unites two into becoming one, there are still two very different people working to mesh their personalities together and sometimes it can result in wild fire.
   The reason why I am not scarred and the reason I believe my children won't be is because no matter how bad the fighting gets, no matter how loud the yelling gets, they know nothing will tear the family apart. The might've been first hand witnesses to a serious boxing match (figuratively of course) but they also are always present when we make up, apologize and move on. I can't think of a better lesson to learn by example actually. Forgiveness is the ultimate key to any long lasting relationship. Every fight is not the end, and sometimes it's the beginning. In fact, this fight made me acutely aware of my vicious sailor's mouth, and my severe lack of impatience, and it's something I'm working on.
   If you expose you children to your flaws, while similarly showing them that you are working on changing them daily, that is a better teaching experience than letting them think you are perfect and watching them fail to keep up. I have been married now for exactly six months today, been a parent for two years and have been with my husband for four, and we learn something new everyday, but I will continue to argue in front of my kids, and I will continue to apologize in front of them as well. We are rookies, and I know that, but I stand firm in this particular area. Teaching my kids that people aren't perfect, marriage isn't perfect and mommy surely isn't perfect is something I want ingrained in their little minds. Only hard work and dedication make for a happy family, and I believe that's what we are showing them. Mommy and daddy might throw things at each other and pinch each other and call each other "dumb a**", but we will never leave each other and we are always on the same team. Happy 6 Months of marriage babe, and here's to many more fights, and even more make-ups! XOXO

Top 10 Reasons to hold onto your last 10 Pounds of Baby Weight

Fat girls make lists like this to make themselves feel better, and in the spirit of self love, I too, have made one. 

1. While I sometimes fantasize about the waif I once was, so small, in fact, that I very nearly by law, was required to sit in a car seat, my extra ten pounds provide a very comfortable heated insulation during the winter months.
2. Losing it would mean being forced into being on a diet. That would mean no more snacks at midnight, and by snacks I mean full meals, because midnight is the only time I, as a mother can eat in peace without someone throwing ketchup covered fries at my face or being spit-up on.
3. My children's favorite toys are my bingo arms and my jiggly belly. What kind of a mother would I be, nay, what kind of PERSON would I be to take that away from them?? 
4. Do you plan on ever having more kids? I don't, but since I am not a fortune teller, I don't see why I would lose weight only to gain it back and more. Why would I want to torture myself like that?
5. In the event of the apocalypse, when there is a shortage of food, and rations are fought over like gold, technically speaking those ten extra pounds could carry you over weeks longer than your skinny counterparts. Do you want to survive the end times or not?
6. Chubby girls are smarter. That is a fact. That I made up. 
7. If you're like me, you gain weight in your face, and if you're ten pounds over weight that's just a nifty excuse to buy more make-up. One can of spray paint wouldn't cover an entire wall. Think of your face like a giant, round wall.
8. Since having that handful of extra weight on you everything ends up being a work-out anyways, therefor making actual working out a non-necessity. Clomping up the staircase, breathing laboriously, heaving a 600 pound basket of laundry just cost you major calories. 
9. My cannonballs trump your swan dives any day. 
10. BOOBS.